When i was sitting last nite on my bed with both ears plugged listening to songs, i had this thought of suicide,murder, and something linking to taking lives either others or oneslf...so this is what i thought..hurm~
What is the best method to die?
Kill urself by cutting the hand (u know..)
Drive nuts n get crashed
Go up high on a building and jump off
Cross a busy road recklessly and get hit
Get into a fight and get hit till bleed
Knock urself or stumble upon anything and fell off by hitting ur head hard
Why people choose to die? *choose means not sick bla3*
Having a madly hard-to-live life
Breakups
Cant live under pressure anymore
Felt threaten by human or anything
Feel disgraceful and being bullied
Cant stand people talking bad and spread rumors on them
Halucination
Was forced by someone/many to do so
After a lot of thought, that suicide is the best way to gain a free-life
Felt ashamed/unappreciated/abandoned
Why did i listed these? Had a thought bout why people wanna die when they have everything, why they choose to leave others when they still have family, why they decided to make others cry.. maybe coz they’ve cried too many times before they decided to take their own lives so that people will cry after loosing him/her... that if there are people who remind them after gone
As if me, i hope one day after my death, people will feel so bad losing me, that once when i was a little kid, i decided to take as many pictures as i can so that when i’m gone, people can still have the memory of me by looking at my pics...its not a beautiful thing to keep, i’m not pretty i know (haha!), just that at least people will know “owh that girl is no longer alive, she’s like this”..*showing my pic to let people recognize me*...
I watched this one movie, a chinese one, saying that she doesnt want to be good, not behaving politely to friends or anyone, why?? She said... *in my words of understanding*
“its normal for people to remember good person but one day they’ll dissapear from thoughts, but i wanna be the bad girl coz people usually remember most those who they hate, those who are not so good, those who are rude, i wanna be that bad girl type, so that when i die, people wont forget me”
nota tulis jari: dunno why some letters are not coming out...assume u understand what i wrote
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